My take on 2006 and my fears of 2007 and beyond…

The Year of Transition – that is what I knew 2006 to be from January 1st, 2006. I graduated from college. My sister turned 21 this year, and went to Europe for the first time (lucky bitch). My father turned 50 (doesn’t look a day over 35), my great aunt 80 (doesn’t look a day over 50), and one of my younger cousins, 18. More than that, this Christmas was the first Christmas in a long time that my father, sister and myself spent together – at Disney no less!! All of the loves of my life granted to me in one unforgettable weekend! I even had a corny moment (at the light show at Epcot) when I almost cried with joy at the thought. Lol. I am indeed blessed.
However, to me, next year is indeed a blur. Even though I am very much looking forward to Carnival 2k7 (!!!!), there are so many things that I am uncertain about. Will I pass (or even take for that matter) the CPA Exam, when I am not studying? At all?? Will I continue working at the company with whom I’m presently employed? Will I continue to be an accountant? Will I finally build up the nerve to work in the field I truly desire to work in (music)? Will I let my beloved instrument (the steel pan) take me places, so that I can do the same for the instrument? If I do somehow manage to get into the music industry, will I end up being the voice of reason which stands for truth, justice, love, respect and intellect? Or will I sell out and “talk” in my songs about how “delicious” I am or how “wound up” I should get about being “promiscuous”? On that note, what is with all the females talking empty shit in their songs, when all you really want to listen to are the catchy beats? I guess they decided to take that approach beyond the realm of rap, or what is sacrilegiously referred to as “hip-hop.” At least TALENTED stalwarts like one of my vocal idols Christina Aguilera stuck to her guns and still SINGS! But I digress. I pray to God that when the time comes for me to live my dream (if it is indeed His will), that I will recognize it, and grab it by the horns.

Defining Traits of one's sexual orientation

No, this has nothing to do with Carnival - except the word "sex" of course. However, this thought was prompted by my American coworker today asking about my desktop background, which is the picture under the "Boots with these??" post - the model posing in the Imp costume. She asked "Who is that?". Now, I am sure she was well meaning (albeit nosy), but I am certain that it is not some fleeting paranoia to suspect that there are questions about my sexual orientation floating about in the workplace, and this picture was simply icing on the cake. I am one of the few unmarried employees (not to mention one of the youngest), boldly expressing my intentions to NOT enter a long-term romantic relationship, and I wear my hair in dreadlocks (which is THE lesbian hairdo, I am told...though I think that is an utterly ridiculous stereotype). Then again, I am the only Trinidadian in the entire company (not surprisingly). So, I explained to her that the person is a complete stranger to me, and that she is modelling the costume I will be wearing for the Carnival. She simply smiled and nodded, making it clear to the both of us that as far as she was concerned, I was speaking Greek. Whatever. I stated my case, and that was all.
However, this simple event caused some thoughts to occur to me, as well as some memories. I grew up as a tomboy, preferring to play sports with the guys than Barbie dolls with my sister (although, whenever I was guilted into it, we did have a good time...). As a result of this, I was never really intimidated by guys. In fact, by early adolescence, I was mean to them. Very mean. So, in retrospect, I can understand why they would assume I was a lesbian. However, I was not even aware of my scarlet "L" until form four (age 15-16 for you foreigners). By the time I did become aware of it, I was dating my first love (who shall remain nameless) - who, btw, is a male. When I first heard it, I burst out laughing. But a few months later, I came to realize how far the rumour had spread. The more I heard about it, the more defensive I became. People made up stories about catching me red-handed in one of my supposed sexual escapades with my best friend, who also suffered from this rumour. Also, very recently, a rather "intelligent" friend asked me this same question when I told him that I am not exclusively dating anyone. While these types of questions come out of mere narrow-mindedness, one has to wonder why the hell MUST one sleep around to protect their heterosexuality - at least in terms of their reputation??!!!(... funny, I intended to put up a post of all my Trini boys that I love, but first Machel play de ass at "the Living Room", and now this whole lesbian crap. To post that "tribute" after this would seem a bit...well...overcompensating). But I digress. My frustration is this - when it comes to females, sex is indeed a double-edged sword. Sleep with too many men - whore. Refuse too many men - gay. Steups. I'm sure I would never escape this stigma, because apparently, that is the only recourse that the small-minded male has when rejected by a woman of class. I suppose I'd leave it at that. Any thoughts on the matter, fellow bloggers?

It's Official - No More Savannah

*Sob*. I must admit this is indeed a let down. Culture Minister Joan Yullie Williams FINALLY speaks on the matter, less than TWO MONTHS before the festivities. And she makes that decision. :S
For those that do not know, the subject on whether the Grand Stand would be used to house Carnival festivities prior to demolition has been under HOT debate. Now, this issue has been put to rest by a rather disappointing decision. In my humble opinion (besides countless others), it should have stayed one more year. That way, first time masqueraders such as myself can enjoy the privilege of jumping up across that stage. Oh well, you can't have everything...
Now another issue arises from this turn of events - what about Panorama? Will the Pan Trinbago president stick to his earth-shattering (albiet nonsensical) ultimatum (no Savannah, no Panorama)??? I, for one, hope the hell not!!!! I may not get to participate in Panorama. That's fine. But for goodness sake, at least let there BE ONE!! To rob us of Panorama is far worse than robbing us of the Savannah stage!! But let me not get ahead of myself, yes. All things in due time. Regardless of the outcome of the situation, all thanks and praise be to God. I know He has more pressing issues to deal with right now (lol), so I'll just be thankful for whatever He decides to bless me with. Ah done.

Boots with these???

Panorama Bacchanal!!!!

Well it seems as though people planning to attend the Panorama competitions have to go all ova de place!! Semis in North and Finals in South. Talk bout confusion!!! Well, it seems most people are glad about it. A Panorama alum myself, all my memories of Panorama reside fondly in the soon-to-be-dearly-departed Savannah stage. The feeling I get when we (then Hydro Agri Skiffle Bunch) start getting hyped up to perform - that infectious high of gearing up to deliver the performance of a lifetime - is one I believe I can only get on finals night on the Savannah stage. But doh get tie-up, though - I's a South gyul through and through (went to Mod Sec an everyting) - but all I know is performing on that stage. *Sigh*
Well, not all change is bad, so even though I may not end up playing for Panorama, I am looking forward to this year's competition. Although I will always cherish the stage and the old memories created there, perhaps it is time to embrace the formation of new ones.....

When a convenience becomes inconvenience

Technology, technology, technology!!! You'd think by now they'd have certain things figured out, like how to check your mail on your laptop, for starters! Signing into this blog is also a hassle!! Well, maybe I just need to get a few things figured out...
More often than not, it seems as though certain things set up for your convenience end up costing a lot of time, money, and (more noticeably) patience! Computers, cars, sound systems, even cell phones can be a major pain in the @$$. Oh well. Wha yuh go do?

Hello World of Blogging

Thanks to Saucy Trini, I am inspired to start a blog of my own. I may not have too much going on here at first, but as Carnival 2007 comes around the corner, I'll be sure to chronicle my experiences!
Well, I guess I better start by describing myself. I am complicated. That ought to sum it up. (lol). As you can tell by the name, I am a proud Trinidadian. I currently reside in Tampa, FL (away from the more popular spots like Fort Lauderdale and Miami...why, I dunno). My mother is Trini and my father is Guyanese (any suprise they split up?). I am a Staff Accountant working for a rather low-key (but booming) retail company, so other than the joyous anxiety of looking forward to Carnival 2k7 my life is pretty boring now. I just turned 24 and that in itself is difficult to believe.
That should do for now. I will not make any promises to make daily updates to this blog, but as mentioned before, I will do my best. Big ups to all meh Trini massive outside the "motherland"!!!! Bless!!