carnivaljunction.com is THE DEVIL!!!!!

Daz a reaaaaaaaaaaal tief head website, dread!!!!

Oh gorsh!!! See, the thing is, I bought my Imp costume, and I like my Imp costume. It's just that I like Fireman and IP Sacred Sand even more (just like everybody else, I'm sure). Now, ah just read Saucy blog, and TRIBE sayin for resold costumes, new names must be submitted by Friday Feb 2nd. Now, ah doh want no set of confusion here. De fetes and mas is enough bachannal for me!! But I reaaaaaaaaaaal like dem costumes, boy! Should I take the chance and get them? What allyuh tink????

De next ting is that Imp is more expensive than the other two costumes! On top of that, I live in the U.S, and I eh comin down until Feb 11th! So, to be realistic, I probably saltin when it comes to selling this costume - not only because of the price, but also because I paid it in full already. Now, ah fussin because I requested the IP Sacred Sand costume on carnival junction website before settling (yes, I admit, SETTLING) for Imp. I knew that if I didn't act quickly, I wouldn't be playin mas at all! Now THAT, I can't have. Well, I might as well post something on Carnival Junction. Who knows, maybe I might get something after all!!! It's worth a try.....

At the end of the day, however, none of this really matters. If I end up playin wit Imp, it isn't the end of the world. Like I said, I do LIKE my costume. However, anything you LOVE is worth fighting for. So, here goes...

A thought....

It's just one of those moments when you're either dead on with a really good point/observation, or just plain delusional. This, I hope, leans more to the former. I cannot recall exactly what conversation me and my dear Shanny-Poo (as I like to call her) were exchanging which lead me to this thought, but this is more or less what came out:
Me - You know, it's weird..
Shanny Poo - What?
Me (not sure how to phrase it) - You know how it's like when we look at movies, and go "Oh my goodness! That's so real!"
SP - Uh huh
Me - And when it comes to our lives, we sometimes say "Oh my goodness! This is just like the movies!"
SP - Okay, if I was high on pot right now, you'd be scaring me...
Me (laughing) - Hahahaha!
SP (laughs)
Me - It's just so strange that we have movies that depict reality so well that we have now confused the two.
After that point, I made some comment which mirrored the "which-came-first-the-chicken-or-the-egg" analysis which, when discussing real life vs art, shouldn't even be a question. While there is a symbiotic relationship between life and art (what is art without life/what is life without art?), there is no doubt that artistic expression stems out of our life's experiences. So, why the confusion?
I primarily (but not totally) blame the phenomenon of "suspension of belief" - the attitude you assume prior to watching a movie. This suspension is almost automatic, because it is a mentality that has been developed throughout our lifetime. We know we are going to view a fictional tale of whatever genre, be it romance, comedy, fantasy, horror, etc, and not to fully accept what we see as "truth", or better yet, "real." The trouble is that in so many ways, we are already disconnected to what is happening around us, so that suspension of belief has become a constant state of mind. As a result, we tend to equate certain troubling/traumatizing events to the "fake". Even sweet, sincere moments are labeled as such. Maybe I'm making much ado about nothing. Like I said, it's just a thought.....

Confused.....

I am feeling so much right now, but can scarce find the words. Last week, my uncle suddenly passed away. He left behind his ex-wife (my aunt on my mother's side), a step-son and two daughters. This happened without so much as a warning, and it has had a HUGE effect on me. Of course, there was shock and sadness - such emotions compounded by the fact that I was still coming to terms with another recent death (my then 22-yr old cousin, who was shot in May 2005). I am normally a sympathetic person, so at times like these, I HATE feeling sorry for myself when I know there are people closer to the deceased than I. I know I deserve to grieve, but my heart goes out to those more deeply affected.
However, yet another emotion plagues my heart - guilt. I am very much looking forward to Carnival, but in light of this tragedy (to put it lightly), I can't help but feel disgusted with myself at my selfishness to still want to enjoy Carnival. I know how misguided that sounds, but that is how I feel. I'm sure the root of my guilt resides in the fact that I did not attend the funeral, when I did want to go. However, I refrained from calling my family too much for two reasons - one was that when I first heard the news, I called my aunt, then my cousin (his daughter), who, I was told, refused to speak with anyone at that time (totally understandable). I figured I'd let the dust settle, so to speak, before I called again. The second reason was that as much as I wanted to be there for my family, I didn't think I could yet handle myself while being in the presence of this tragedy- meaning that in the funeral, when the reality of the situation would really hit home, I probably would have needed more comfort than I could provide them - not an appropriate position. I called this Saturday, which, I then found out, was the day before the funeral. They live in New York, while I live in Florida. If I were within driving distance, then I really would have no excuse for not attending. Nevertheless, I STILL really have no excuse for not going. Forgive the dramatic language - I just detest times like these. I'm probably not at my most rational at the moment, but I really feel like I should get this off my chest. Friends reassured me that my looking forward to going to Trinidad was not selfish, that life goes on and I should still enjoy my time here on earth, and I know that they are right. My best friend here suggested that I should go to New York to, if anything, at least clear my conscience. But even that seems selfish! Maybe I am being a coward. Maybe I'm beating myself up for no good reason at all. I am so confused and angry and shocked - in short, fucked up! I can't be mad at God, for I know that He has all in control. But that still does not comfort me. That may be because I am angry at myself. What should I do????

Hip-Hop - Form vs Substance

I know, I know. What de hell someone called "Trini" doing writing a post about Hip Hop? Well, being "Caribbean-American" (as much as I HATE politically correct labels, it is one I am forced to adopt given the present circumstances...but that is for another "discussion") puts me in a unique position to appreciate the relevance of all sorts of musical expression within the African Diaspora. That said, I (along with every other living, breathing person that appreciates this genre of music) have a few grievances with not only what is has become in the scheme of things, but also in the minds of its listeners and naysayers alike. The principal grievance is simply how people have come to define hip-hop.
A couple disclaimers:
1. I do not claim to know the exact origins of hip-hop. What I do know is simply hearsay from more informed sources (namely, my sister who did a research project on this matter).
2. I am not going to give any history lessons except what is already common knowledge (e.g references to the TransAtlantic Slave Trade, or what I'd like to call "The end of humanity as we know it"
The way people have come to know hip-hop is (summing it up in my own words) a degenrate form of music which promotes violence, mysogyny, materialism, and just plain foolishness - such promotion being further encouraged by "the powers that be" to continually, if not permanently, supress the elevation of the black race. Now, there is some truth to this statement, except for one key thing - hip-hop is NOT to blame!! Yes, it has become a marketable franchise through which such negativity is broadcast. Yes, there are negative images of black men and women. Yes, all these so-called artistes are blabbing about are nice clothes, cars and other material things. However, it is not the genre itself CAUSING this problem. It is merely a channel, a convenient means through which certain members of an age/ethnic group can be easily targeted to promote these self-destructive ideals. Hip-hop, when used, and not ABUSED, is a beautiful thing, just like sex, prescription drugs, sweets and the like. It is one of many genres of human musical expression, which can relay creativity as well as destruction. I am so sick and tired of people alluding only the negative to this beautiful form of music. I love hip-hop. I love the melodies, clever rhymes and socially constructive subject matter which spawned it. I love the artistes (with TALENT and something worthwhile to say) that continually nurture it with positivity, newness, freshness and, above all, LOVE!
In my humble opinion, to truly love music is to embrace all genres - hip-hop, alternative, rock, ska, reggae, dub, calypso, soca.... all! Exploring all these beautiful varieties of an art form which excites the senses while attempting to explain the essence of our existence is also part of the adventure of discovering oneself, and to judge a genre of music as "degenerate" and allude all that is negative about a race to it is to sell oneself short. (I hope that last bit made sense).
All in all, while I do believe that hip-hop has gone a long way off track, it is NOT dead - it's just being ignored. There are still people out there who promote positivity, love between a black man and a black woman, creativity and the like. It is not the music "the powers that be" are selling - it is a mindset. Don't blame hip-hop for violence, mysogyny and ignorace. These forces were present waaaay before hip-hop was even conceived. Ah done.

The Young and the classless...

"Sistahs Behaving Badly" - an audacious, distasteful, and DISGUSTING website promoting black women as over-exposed, classless drunks who will do ANYTHING to get attention. Granted I am not surprised by it. Sex is indeed an integral part of Carnival (which, in and of itself, explains why over 3/4 of the Trini population are Scorpios...lol), but there is a time and place for that, NEITHER of which are during Carnival on de road, or in other words, IN PUBLIC!! The thing that upsets me most, however, is that sleazy, sneaky waste of semen taking rude photos of women who were not even aware they had, um, themselves, photographed!!!! I would love to say that if I cetch dat fool runnin up my business with his camera, after I am through with him he will never have children again in life!! However, I'm sure more than half the unsuspecting women "photographed" told themselves the same thing, but they were too preoccupied with doing what the hell they came to do in peace (meaning, having a good time and minding thier own f**king business) to notice that shit. (***fuming**). What the f**k ever, yes! If I end up on dat site, is only one reason - I am none the wiser due to enjoying myself. I tell you, this is one crazy planet we livin on. Yes, Carnival is a time to get crazy - but NOT NASTY!!! There is my 2 cents on the matter. Ah done.